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60 TIPS FOR A STUNNINGLY GREAT LIFE

Pebble # 10# Passion of two cities

Praseeth Kumar was a newly wedded gentle man who joined Learning & development team of TCS in Chennai from Bengaluru.  He is An alumnus of IIM Calcutta. Every week he rushes and catches the express train from Chennai to meet his family in Banglore. Entire world considered Praseeth as crazy for exhaustive travels. Will you believe that this weekly trip continued almost more than a year.

At times Vinaya, Praseeth’s wife used to come down to Chennai on possible weekends. It’s a privilege to share about them, the way they are. (Just one among several qualities they possess)

God!! Words can’t explain Praseeth’s dedication, commitment and passion as a trainer and also as a Relationship Manager to TCS. The assignments which he undertook were all really successful.

His never ending love towards family also kept increasing day by day. I became seriously jealous looking at their love. Distance couldn’t separate them, years couldn't separate them, and profession couldn't stop them, and nay say ers of this world couldn't stop them.

 Friends, the one thing I experienced observing the husband and wife was that:

“True Love is patient kind, true love doesn't envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It doesn't insist on its own way. It is not irritable or resentful. It doesn't rejoice at wrong doing. But rejoices with the truth.. Love bears all things. Believes in all things, hopes all things, and endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues they will cease; as for knowledge it will pass away”

How much more will you decide to love someone close to you today than ever before?

Pebble # 9 # A phenomenal daddy by Grace.

THAYIL VARUGHESE GEORGE is the passport name of my loving dad by grace. He is an amazing personality beyond age and time. He is an engineer in SWCC in Saudi Arabia. People used to ask him when he flies down on leave; “Joy Uncle, why do you read all these books even then you also have a job, good qualification?”Hello, by the way my dad is a voracious reader of different genres: General knowledge, fiction, religious and self help books, banking and investment books, health, cooking, technology, employment news……… let me save space by parking the long list.This point of time, let’s ask ourselves do we really read in this age of 3G giving way to 4G and also when we talk about virtual world and cloud computing?When was the last time we walked into a book store to smell the books and to flip through pages? Market is throwing us electronic books from we have to choose by.Today If I say that as a coach I have trained about several thousands (12, 975 candidates in Tata Consultancy Services alone) I would completely give credit to my reading. (Excuse me these days I admit I am really engaged with assignments after assignments).Coming back to Dad’s response, he replied to the person who questioned him “I read because I need to grow, I need to learn from the goodness and mistake of others. Why must I wait for a mistake to happen to me, let me learn how to avoid it in advance? I need to invest my time for a worth while cause, that’s why I read”
Let me tell you friends reading will help you grow. The knowledge you acquire is power, even today I quote from the reading excerpts which I have read and wrote in grade 9.Dad’s reading gifted him with sheer will power and faith in life and himself. He is always current. He is a Wikipedia in health. He is a practical man who is perspicacious.  

Pebble# 8# Remember You have a fifth day in your life.

Let me help you recollect the story of Lazarus, a friend of Jesus.  Lazarus passed away due to sickness in the village of Bethany and survived by two sisters. Lazarus death seemed a puzzle for all those who believed in Jesus. People questioned how come this happened to the friend of Jesus. Sisters never had a better answer to console themselves.

Here I recollect the message of Br. Jaison a man of God, from Cochin who is now an international apostle for Heavenly Feast fellowship in Kuwait. Br’s message interpreted all the incidents which happened to the society, and also to family of Lazarus on a Sunday in midst of our service. He kept the audience inspired as he was divinely guided.

Jaison Br explained further… Jesus arrived in the tomb of Lazarus post four days of death.  Jesus arrived on the fifth day. Jesus spoke to death to go away, Jesus confirmed that “He who believes in me will live, even though he dies’ and whomsoever lives and believes in me will never die’ (This explanation is a separate case study)

Sisters warned Jesus of the bad odor when he commanded to remove the stone. Jesus said if you believe you would see the glory of god.  Jesus called out in loud voice. Lazarus, come out! The dead man came out, his hands and feet wrapped with strips of linen, and cloth around his face. Jesus asked him to “Take off the grave clothes and let him go”

Dear friend today may be you are going through a dead situation of your life, speak life to it. Dear friend your relationships, health, job everything would have been in bad odor. Today it can be changed into a electrifying perfume. Can you speak to your negative situations?  Today you are thinking your time, days are over; your deadlines are over, due dates are over; age is over, remember You have a fifth day in your life. Nothing is over in your life unless and until He comes and tells you son, daughter it’s over.

Thanks Br Jaison for reminding the power of fifth day, I am a fifth day resurrected being.

# Pebble # 7 Five star performer….

Mahesh Kumar Shinde, is a candidate I trained in Tata Institute of Social Sciences, in Mumbai. This was again a TCS programme with duration of 21 days. On the third day of training the module was on Build the Brand called YOU other wise it was more or less a corporate etiquette session. I appeared that day in the best attire and spirits I have. While session was in progress, Mahesh raised his hands to ask a question. His question embarrassed the other 35 candidates who came from different part of Mumbai. He asked “ Sirji, all is well, your presentation, slides, dress codes everything; but are you paying me so much that I can come in this dress code every working day”? It was one among the moments of truth in my coaching experience.
It was in that spur of moment I realized that I had the power to act not react. With a smile, I replied Mahesh, I really don’t have an answer for your question. But I have read, and I follow one secret which I got from one of my friends it was this: Don’t dress for the job that you have. But dress for the job that want to have in life. I helped him understand with few examples.
From that moment onwards Mahesh got a spark of enlightenment in his mind. It’s post 1.5 years now. I am receiving a call from a Mumbai landline with a happy tone. Mahesh on the other side, he is almost into tears, he says Abraham, I have got the best appraisals in my team which rated me 5, the maximum. Now I realized everything what we discussed in our training time. I was speechless. Thanked God. Praise God.
Dear, can you accept people as they are?
Can you make a look like loser into an achiever?
Do you realize the difference between acting and reacting in moments of truth of your life?
Can you bring stars to the life of darkness others are into?
If so dear, You are the man.
   

# Pebble# 6 It takes integrity, guts to walk the talk….

Jude Suresh Kumar is a name written in the hearts of thousands of candidates of HCL, Sutherland and TCS where he currently works as an Executive Coach.
 He shaped my training skills; he is a mentor to me and one close friend of mine. Never come across a trainer so far in my life. He is so real, so lively, and energetic and you can’t miss a word or an expression.
Suresh was once training in TCS Spencer Plaza office on time management for group of team leaders. It’s an eight hour session that starts from morning till evening. Through out the day Suresh helped his candidates by sharing about to do lists, follow up, tips on avoiding procrastination, priority matrix etc. It was a wonderful session mixed with role plays, self assessment, case study discussion etc.
Post lunch he invited questions from everyone to help them understand the new concepts better. ( I started referred many people off late to become a trainer because nobody will ask any questions to the trainer these days) Well, Suresh was about to continue the session and then all of a sudden a candidate said “ excuse me Mr. Suresh, you are awesome, fantabulous, the way you help us understand, the way you connect with audience and Gods the points and presentations that you displayed was interesting beyond compare. Suresh my doubt or thought is that do you seriously practice these tools that you are teaching us today?,  
The question was followed by pin drop silence. “Hi will Suresh resign now or will he go home and resign, or will be beat around the bush. Oh boy I got you, you are finished today. Now you know that these are not practical ways” - he literally read the minds of audience to find these thoughts that flashed.
Suresh immediately shared his computer organizer and personal planner to help the candidates understand on how to plan better. He boldly shared the personal notes too the entire audience and he received a standing ovation from all. Look at how an individual walked his talk. Being busy at work and with tight personal schedules he could still manage to walk the talk.
Gandhiji said “You must be the change which you want to see in this world. You must be the walking Bibles, Quran and Gita that others might read. Friends, don’t you recognize the value add when Suresh practiced what he was preached. It was a pebble of learning from him, that I must walk my talk. I must be a doer instead of a teacher. Your values will cover by itself to safe guard you in uncertain moments. Good luck.
Looking back, Suresh is still a name that we all remember day after day for what he is by deeds then by words. I am privileged to work with him as a coach to Tata Consultancy Services.
   

# Pebble# 5 You belong to the Master Plan...

It goes without saying everyone has a disliking towards getting injected. I’m very sensitive. When my daughter Joe (Johana) was almost two we took her to her doctor for vaccination given in the form of injection. There was a decent queue in the hospital. We invested that time to cheer Joe, make her laugh, ensured that she is very comfortable and relaxed.
“Baby Jogganna” that’s how the nurse changed my daughter’s name in a fraction of second and I realized it’s our turn. We walked in with all giggles and music of a good life. Doctor verified her weight, chart and asked me to hold carefully while he gives vaccination. Joe’s eyes were on me, expecting me to entertain her, to bring cheers of joy.
All of a sudden her smiles turn into screaming and she had a sorry face towards me. She cried with her might with a look “Appa, why did you do that to me. Don’t do that again. It hurts badly you know. How could be you tough to me?” Certainly my Joe would have asked these questions if she had grown up. Imagine my agony of convincing her at best expressions that I didn't do this, it was the doctor uncle who pricked you with syringe.
Friends, when pains, disappointments, tragedies, failures comes to us at times, how many of us resort to blaming God, by asking whey did you do this to me? Why is that you are testing me so much? Why me? Why You? We take coaching classes to help Lord understand how he must focus better in future.
Trust me His ways are of construction and not of destruction. If you had to pass through a tunnel of darkness today, it is for a glorious broad day light that is waiting outside for you. Our tough moments can really shape us, can make us really who we are expected to be. Certain times Lord allow this. Know that he is in the driver seat of our life.
Can we trust him today blindly with a greater cause? Can we just believe that you belong to the Master Plan of good that you are a model which still under construction and the master piece hasn’t be revealed to the world yet? Hi Master Piece are you willing to submit yourself for His leading, his guidance, his agape (love that never ending and love that never expect anything in return) Can we just take a chance to become what is expecting us to become?
      

# Pebble# 4 Thomaskutty rocks with 3 questions that enriched life….

Sundays are celebration days in our church, especially the youth meetings. Mainly because of the vibrant worship and the mind blowing, spirit filled Gospel messages. Let me recollect one of such Sunday messages by our speaker Br. Thomaskutty. (Must meet person)
Let me take the privilege of introducing our guest for the day. Br ThomasKutty is first a great man of God, a worship leader, fantastic singer and he is a leader for the famous 3M organization and also a great speaker. On the particular Sunday in his message he exhorted the entire fellowship with just three thought proving questions.  May sound funny but here are they:
Question 1# How much does a toothbrush costs on average in market?
 Here comes and opportunity to prove an up man ship by quoting high prices. Audience listening, quoted their wish lists that ranged from 30 to 120. However the entire crowd agreed to Br Moses who said 10 rs will get us a decent brush. (By the way by nature Moses has got strong and good teeth) While the crowd still debated about the market prices Br ThomasKutty shifted called for attention to
Question 2# How long do you use the product (brush) on an average?
Goodness, scholars differed here. Audience replied mostly with two, three, four months may be. Thomaskutty thanked the audience and moved on the third or last
Question # 3# After the use of two-three-four months, will you still trash this product (brush)?
 Now I recognized a silence among the crowd. (Well, we really don’t prefer to keep quiet when somebody is addressing us correct, story was the same)  But here the crowd seriously started answering one by one. Here comes the list of answers that shined:
After regular usage brushes it will be used for cleaning flower vases, pots, washbasins, taps, clean shoe corners, cleaning AC, windows, Fridge parts, electronic items etc. Finally we concluded that the brush also had a second life for another 1 year or 1.5 years. Later, still it will be kept some where without being trashed. Hope you will agree with the speaker now.
In the world of tech savvies I found a voracious reader in Br. Thomaskutty. He made a factual statement that the Dental Association recommends a brush can be only used maximum of 4 to 5 weeks. Laughing on top of their voice people started counting how many had already joined the vintage club.
It was so shocking a thought for all of us when he asked further poignant questions like: Do you really know what’s your price? You true Value? Do you realize your potential? How much worth are you? Do you know the price that has been paid for you? Who purchased you? How does it feel like completely being you with the power of choice?  How best we use, help ourselves and others to reach as best in all endeavors in life?
We realized that our ladder of thought was leaning perfectly to a spiritual, intellectual realm of thought process. God has gifted us with his own Spirit inside us. How best we use the priceless, matchless gift which is gifted to us by his grace and mercy? Today can you dare to invest time pondering what could be your personal and honest answers that you will share to yourself before you roll on to your bed??? Tomorrow you are going to rock!!!
 

# Pebble# 3# Are you Celebrated or tolerated? Are you Respected or just acknowledged?

Tata Consultancy Services gifted me with the title of Master Trainer for their Chennai division who specially takes care of Initial Learning Programme (ILP). Each ILP programme concludes with a graduation day with special guests, who are top leaders of the organization. In one of the graduation days I invited TCS Leader Kenneth Jeyaselan. He is one of my role models, a good friend, guide, mentor, best coach I have come across.
Kenneth started his inspiring chief guest address to the crowd of fresh students from college; who were impatient to get their offer letters, permanent cards, and bank accounts. He sought a feedback from four candidates, covered points on future in corporate, dos and don’ts etc.  Meanwhile he made a bold statement which made me stand up from the royal office chair in which I was relaxed.
Chief Guest said that “You can’t even dirty the office rest rooms because it is cleaned by my brother or my sister”.  Remember Kenneth heads the India ILP programme, team of Learning & Development Chennai, had been as head for China. Why must Kenneth say that?
Notice this… the perspective of a real leader, the success of a real human being. He was showing the way forward. His perspective of giving respect to even to the ordinary people we come across will decide our altitude of life. It can alter, add and even delete our graph of phenomenal success.
Friends it’s a question that all generation from Gen X to Gen Y must answer. How much do we really give respect to others? By the way are you really respected and celebrated wherever you are right now?
Magic formula Kenneth shared was Give respect and take respect. Try this formula, the world will celebrate you.
Can this be your personal prayer and can this be your resolution for the rest of the days of your life to Give real respect everyone whom you come across?
Sure, you are a future leader. 

# Pebble # 2# Realizing the REAL…

It was my long time dream to fly by Jet Airways. Several frequent flyers and ads inspired me about the flying experience in Jet. That Aha! Moment came at last when my company asked me to fly to Mumbai to deliver two training programmes.  Flight timing was at early 5. 5 am. It was a dream come true to be seated in 12 C of Jet which is an aisle seat. By sharp 6 flight attendants started distributing breakfast. By the way I missed to tell you this..Of course I was also looking forward towards Jet food.
Well, I stared browsing through the menu card which was kept in front.  Menu read like this; Sandwich 596 only. Non veg breakfast 600 only, nuts 450 only, Samosa 205 only. Gods my average middle class Indian heart beat got saved. Never say quit is my policy. I browsed towards the last of the list to find which is the cheapest. Wow tea costs 85, coffee 90. I practiced will power; thinking let me just enjoy the flight alone.
By that time the beautiful air hostess had already approached the passengers just one seat in front, and next is my turn.  Excuse me my bloated ego forced me to pretend deep asleep.  Forgot to tell you I had won the best actor award from Mahatma Gandhi University Drama in my Post graduation days. My experience really helped. Well, air hostess started to wake me up at all best possible ways calling sir a 9 times, excuse me a 7 times, my complete name 5 times. Thanks to the co passenger who nodded me and you know what he is a powerful non verbal communicator who showed me that she is just waiting for me. I gave him a funny thank you look. She asked with a Google, stereotype script ‘Sir, would you like to place an order for a breakfast from the variety of menu we have to treat you. I remember a book that I read, don’t say Yes, when you want to say NO. Well, I said No by using all my experience in assertive communication as a trainer. At last verifying my tickets she remarked that, Sir, your company had paid complete amount for your meals. You can have an exclusive meal of your choice. You pay nothing.
I reached heavens because already I was in sky, must be closer. With raised eyebrows and curiosity I asked Hi could you please show me the menu card once again. The moment I placed order and it was delivered. But the statement of air hostess glued me to my spirits. ‘Somebody had paid the complete price for you. You needn't have to pay anything. You can enjoy anything of your choice’
Friends let me help you think for yourself. Can you find out THE ONE WHO HAD PAID THE COMPLETE PRICE OF YOUR LIFE? Do you realize the price he paid for you? Do you know that you are called to enjoy a positive life, health, wealth, family, career, bliss of your choice? When dreams,ambitions, passions, positive mindset to make difference comes to you, how many times have you pretended to be asleep? Wake up dear; it’s a better world to be in. Make a difference today knowing Who had called you.

Pebble # 1# Today what's your dedication level?

Srinath sir, is not just a Vice President to Tata Consultancy Services  but a gifted leader  by vocation. He is a gem of a person who value other beings at best. It was on an early Monday business morning he walked into our Hr Learning & Development space to meet someone. Incidently their  conversation was audible to all of us. The lady with whom Srinath interacted reminded him aloud about an email communication which he was expected to  sent a day ago. Srinath who appeared always charismatic removed his thick glasses and replied the lady "mam this is my life not my job. Email is already RIP in your inbox. Lady verified it and was shocked to find the email, later she apologized to him. His remark about how he considered work came as a  gift to  me. From then my dedication to work changed. My profession became so real to me. When my outlook  changed my working environment changed. Friend, can you think of defining your dedication towards all areas you are associated with? I realized that's the pillar of  success.
Confucius: choose a job you love and you will never have to work a single day in your life.